Saturday, July 12, 2008

I the Tom Hanks !!

If someone sets a hidden camera on me these days,what he would end up having is a documentory on "a man's struggle for roti-kapda and makan".The film would be much boring than the art films we used to watch in DD1 when we were in primary schools.Apart from one or two STD calls(say for 45 mins),there is not a single minute in the remaining 1395 minutes that would appeal the audience.There was a time(in 2002-03-04) where a film on my daily life would have earned anyone an Oscar.There was comedy,drama(by some of our college deans) ,dance , music,cricket,suspense(exam results) and even action(yes!I represented my college in a fight with the nearby gaonwallahs).Yes!one element was still missing,but even that was compensated with the regular 9 to 10 shows in Haflang's computer.But within 2 years everything met with a "Napoleon fate".And my waterloo was awaiting me in Bangalore. Today I see myself as the Tom Hanks of "Cast Away".The excitement in my life means "kya aaj mera daal achcha banega?".Fun in my life means Star-one 10:00 PM--where Vinay Pathak and co do the same to bollywood/politicians that we used to do to our friends in college.Exercise means "washing 10 shirts on Sundays".2 years back I never thought that I would be cooking daal-chawal 'mere apne haathon se' someday.My friends(who were much more well informed than me) told me that life in a metro rocks....'Abey just go outta college!!phir dekhna kya mast life hein'....I promise I would keep pet dogs in the name of everyone who told me that.But I am not sad about all these.Coz another element that has vanished from the movie is 'emotions':-).Seems like I have turned into a robot--who wakes up 5 minutes past his official office time.Then curses himself for once again forgetting to bring biscuits for breakfast.Then with "khali pet" drives his 'Palio' to office at 40 kmph(I think my lifestyle deserves a Bajaj Boxer or a Hero Majestic rather than a Car)...then blends himself into work for the next 10-11 hours.When I come home,my bed,my tables-chairs shout,"goonga aa gaya, goonga aa gaya"[coz they hardly see me speaking]...I pickup my mobile and go to the roof...when I come down, my experiment with daal-chawal begins....hei!I have had some findings yaar--if u add 2 onions instead of 1 in daal,uska taste ekdam sonu nigam ke acting skills jaisa ban jata hein(remember love in nepal,jaani dushman)....on the other hand,in chicken,the more the onion,better the taste....also kabhi bhi tomatto ko dusre cheezon ke saath nahin rakhne ka....sala jaldi marta hein...aur unke dead bodies ke saath sone mein aloo-pyaaj logon ko darr lagega na...waise I have some findings in the 'challenging field of washing' collars and the hands are the most vulnerable areas for 'meil' u better use brushes to clean those areas....also ARIEL has a better smell than surf....toh dekha!there are advantages of staying alone...aur bhi bahut saare advantages are there...I will tell u later....

Sunday, July 6, 2008

Epitome of sin...

I feel beautiful..Have you ever tried to feel? sleeping under a warm blanket and listening to the sound of the rain that creating a music outside in a constant scale. Just woke up very early in the morning standing at the corner of the terrece.. feeling the cool breeze with your arms wide open.. sitting at the hill top rock your legs are hanging talking with the stars and sipping your favorite beer.. found an old picture in a old file when you were searching for an important document.. The feelings, the Kodak moments you kept in your memory just money can't buy...

Hmmm…chalo aaj ke liye bohot huwa kal try karonga -I shut down my laptop and got ready for the Yogi’s party.

Yogender Bedi was my Manager. Office mein Boss aur bahar we were friends. He was the coolest manager I have ever encountered. He was 4-5 years older than me. He was throwing a party at night at his residence after the farewell at office. He had a nice offer from a US company.

I reached very late at his house as there were auto rickshaw problem that day and were seen very less at the street. By the time I reached my other colleagues were high with the tequila shots and fine Scottish whisky. I took some shots and was feeling the wave.
Charlie was total out that day…puked 2-3 times.

We winded up everything at 1, Yogi had to drop Charlie.
Bangalore was sleeping that time. There was a theater near to Yogi’s place. I went there hoping would get an auto and there was a bus stoppage also. I thought if I don’t get rickshaw definitely will get bus. That theater was showing a adult movie I looked at the poster pyasi sheela part 2 .the crowd I found surroundings was a bit abnormal as comparison..

Hogo alle gaadi ide... hogo – a person dressed like a cop told me to board on a 407 traveler bus.
Hey man real cop.. enn sir.. enn aitu? what did I do sir?
English nalli mathadthane..chal chal gadi mein beth…tum log hi Bangalore naam kharab karta -he pushed me into that bus.
I was wondering what was happening. Then I saw 5-6 constables pushing 20-30 people from the theater. I was the first one who was in the bus within 2-3 minutes the bus was full.

Hum kaha ja rahe hai sir?
Police station da, galiza galiza picture dekhta tum aa?- the policeman gave a nice sarcastic smile.

Later I came to know the cops raided that theater and arrested who were inside and watching pyasi sheela and those who were searching tuktuks at that bus stop.
I dialed” Hello Yogi…m stuck man.where are you?.. I explained him..

Thank god Yogi came at the right moment and signed on couple of papers ..The circle inspector bailed me after giving a long lecture..starting from responsible citizen to sexuality,society,crime and every possible topics.

So, how was the Pyasi Sheela part 2??Ha ha ha… you should have told me man. I know a DVD library and that fellow got nice collection… He started the car to drop me home.
Come on Yogi .. I went inside the theater compound to light a fag.. and that paanwalla was saying “picture super hit hai sir..maine char bar dekha”
We really laughed out loud.


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